Newbie Farmer

So its been a few weeks now and trying to figure out how to mow three acres of chest-high grass with a push mower has alluded me. Fortunately, with family and friends, a solution has been offered; buy a tractor. I wonder why I didn't think of that earlier? Maybe it has something to do with the dollar sign followed by five figures.

Not to be stopped by petty obstacles, family and friends enthusiastically suggest..."Rent a tractor!" So I call the local rent-a-tractor dealer, and the conversation goes something like this...

Me - I need to rent a tractor to do some mowing and dirt moving on a 3-acre homesite.

Them - No problem, we've got just what you need. You need a tractor with a 5-foot brush cutter and a front-end loader.

Me - Excellent. How much?

Them - We'll, it's way more than you make per day, but its just what you need.

Me - Oh. Would it be less per day if I rented by the week?

Them - Yes, slightly, and you still have to actually do all the work yourself, but its just what you need.

Me - Oh. Okay. Can I pick it up tomorrow?

Them - Nope. Not till Thursday.

Me - Oh. Okay. I understand you have these things on a trailer so I can just hitch-up to my truck and drive away, right?

Them - Nope. the tractor is not actually ON the trailer, but we have trailers you can borrow.

Me - Oh. Okay. So...can I pull this trailer and tractor combo with my half-ton pick-up?

Them - (muffled laughter) I wouldn't.

So here's where I think I stand. I've got to go find a 3/4 ton pickup to drive to Denton, pay more than I earn in a week, and hook up a trailer. Then I've got to figure out how to drive a tractor up a ramp (I assume) and stop it before rolling over the edge of the trailer and into someone else's pickup. Then I've got to drive it home and do all the work myself and return all the heavy equipment that I hopefully haven't damaged while trying to learn how to use it.

I think I'll go back out and look in on the birds. Fortunately, they've built that nest low enough that I don't need heavy machinery to see it.